Anger is a choice. Our young people today do not realize that anger is a behavioral "choice" they make. The fundamental principle underlying this theory is that between stimulus and response there is a space and what we do in that space determines the quality of our lives. They are unaware of their power to choose appropriate responses. I have been using storytelling and other interactive techniques to teach students about their choices, and how to avoid anger behaviors in favor of more healthy expressions of their feelings.
Bullies, victims, of bullies, and avengers are a world-wide problem. Research has shown that the cause of bully, victim or avenger behavior is a multi-faceted problem. It can result from conduct or modeling of a parent, older sibling or guardian, or by others in the community. Hostile or rejecting attitudes, mental or physical violence and overly critical environments can create children who develop a strong lack of self-esteem. Research also has taught us that intolerance can be taught. These factors and simply the failure of communication and love and support in the home exacerbates the problem. Learning the language of feelings is an important component in developing self-esteem and tolerance.
Research has shown that often bullies believe there are no significant consequences of their behavior. It is important, therefore, that a framework to deal with bullies be in place in the school district, school, or community that encourages the "bully" to conform to more appropriate behavior.
Many take for granted that every child has strong self-esteem, great friends, trusting relationships with an adult or two, have the ability to understand and express feelings in a reasonable way, and have a nonviolent and supportive family, school and community environment. The most vulnerable kids don't have some of the necessary skills and lack criticial connections to supportive adults. They can become isolated, extremely stressed, and filled with anger, resentment and hopelessness.
Bullying behaviors are seen in both males and females. Behaviors include verbal bullying, iindirect or emotional bullying, sexual bullying. Female bullies enegage mostly in emotional and indirect bullying.
Anger Management Programs presents group workshops for teachers, parents and communities with general information to help recognize bullies, victims and avengers in their home, classroom and community. We discuss strategies many have utlized in helping to deal with these problems. Through our classroom work, we provide children with tools to recognize their own emotions and anger and resolve conflict for themselves and others. This is done in an interactive and non-invasive way. We do not engage in therapy of any sort. After our workshops, teachers, parents and children go away with a much greater understanding of the problem and strategies for dealing with the problem.
If you are interested in scheduling a workshop in your school district, school or classroom, please contact Adrienne McMillan, Anger Management Programs, 1100 Irvine Boulevard, #325, Tustin, CA 92780, Telephone (714) 544-2714.
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